SSS

Today, what kind of life are you living in?

Is it a life of SURVIVAL or just getting by?

Everyday, you just try to make it to Friday. Working your way to get your desires but not pushing past your limits and staying in the comfort of your horizon.

Or is it a SUCCESSFUL life?

You right now are working hard to achieve the personal or financial goals you have set for yourself. Doing what it takes to climb your way up into the corporate ladder.

But have you ever considered living a SIGNIFICANT life.

Choosing to seek God’s will into our lives. Everyday we Christians face different circumstances either of success or trials. Most often we take the glory and forget to thank the Almighty. We boast and pride ourselves for our achievements failing to thank the One who have made all these things possible into our lives. But in times of discouragement, we sometimes do call His name yet our hearts failed to rest our faith into His promises.

Today let’s take a pause and reflect on what God plans for you and me. And each day, let us seize the moment and take every opportunity to bless each other and become witness of God’s merciful and abounding love for us. May every adversity be an opportunity for us to let the power of God work into our lives.

Quarter-life crisis

During the past few weeks, apart from keeping up with the deadlines at work I spent most of my time thinking. Reflecting, and I believe that that brief encounter with Michael even though that was a mistake and has caused dormant and erratic emotions to reawaken, it had led me into a revelation of myself. It made me stop and ponder on the current situation where I am in.

A revelation I call it because it brought about many questions about myself, about the thing that I want and do not want. It made me realize many things about my character, attitude and my personality.

One of the things I have realized is that it seemed to me that I have been living two lives. A part of me desires to serve the Lord, while the other is a remnant of my old self. I started to see that if I continue living like this then I would have to waste my best years in life. I realize that being blessed with a new life in Christ, indeed I have to put aside my old ways, habits and beliefs. I also found out that most of the mistakes of my youth is caused by setting aside the virtues taught by my family and life's principles I have established for myself. Indeed, it is not wise to lower our standards to accommodate the flaws and lapses of the world. That as we grow old and chase our goals, it is wise to keep our integrity and age-old values intact. For everything in this world are vanity and chase of the wind.

I also learned that I have traits that needs to be developed and attitude that needs correcting. And the good part is, there is hope that I can change. As He has promised in His word in Gal. 5: 5 and 22; " For through the Spirit, by faith, we await the hope of righteousness" , "In contrast, the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, generosity, faithfulness, gentleness, self-control.". Reflecting in His word I learn to recognize my weaknesses and strengths. And it gives me joy to know that I can be changed from the person I am now to the the person God wants me to be.

In my reflection, the book "I kissed dating goodbye" which ate tonet lend me did a very great help. It gave answers to the many questions I had in mind. I was able to understand and appreciate one of the greatest blessing that God has given me. The "single" life. I have come to understand more about the reality that God indeed have His plans all mapped out for us, if only we allow Him to Work into our lives and put our trust in Him wholeheartedly and faithfully.

I admit until now I still struggle with discontentment in my career, however I must remember that God does not look on our achievements or how far one has climb into the corporate ladder but on our hearts and attitude towards the work we are doing. That its not what our superiors or colleagues think about us but of how God sees the works of our hand.

I have been reminded of my being very prone to worrying. That it is not good to worry, as it is said in Matthew, Sufficient for a day is its own evil.

And the feelings I have for Michael, I realized that, I need to let go of them. I learned that I need to work on myself more. That I cannot learn to love anyone in a romantic way or more intimate way, unless, I have learned to love Jesus and make Him the center of my life. That loving someone is always putting the other person's benefit before oneself. Which I found out I was not able to do for Michael, I found out that I was selfish and that the relationship was not healthy, though I can still pursue friendship with him it wouldn't work until we both are able to let go of the feelings that linger when we are in each others company. And indeed the best way to do it is to really STOP and move on.

Still there are many that I have learned to grasp throughout my reflection but one thing really matters. And that is albeit the afflictions I have encountered, it happened in order for me to learn His laws. And in spite of the chastisement I have received, His edicts remain just and He remains faithful.

Now, I have come to terms with myself that all this time I was just sitting by the banks and dipping my feet in the stream of His grace. I think it's time to really jump into the river and flow with the current of His blessings and overflowing grace.

Eks-boypren . . .

"When I take a look at the stars at night, I wish you were here, right by my side... I miss you, I really miss you..." Anyway this is my x-grlprn ...

These words flashed right into the the screen while my good friend and I were surfing the net. Ans somehow, those phrases stirred up dormant emotions inside me and never left.

"This is the saddest birthday I've ever had", muttered I in between sobs while my ever devoted roommate scrambled for comforting words to calm me down. Well, I only got myself to blame! For it had been ages since my X and I broke up but even though he's already tied up to someone else, I admit, I sometimes fantasize that "we" could be back in each others' arms again.

Perhaps, that is what they call the hardest part of in missing someone. When you can actually see him and get into a conversation or even exchange cheesy text messages with him. But afterwards you feel bad about yourself for indulging into such pleasures that later on will only leave you disappointed...

And the worst part is, the next day, you came across this person you'd been crying over the other night and you have a big hearty smile plastered all over your face. Hypocrisy it might be, but what puzzles you the most is how all the HURT inside you just pops out of the window the moment you see his face. And then, the guilt resides again.

Many times, I had said to myself that this had to end. Forget him, forget about him and blah.... but still the same scenario kept on repeating itself. Dismissing the thought of him or his presence for a time, deleting his 11 digits on your phone, keeping yourself busy with school responsibilities, hanging-out with girlfriends, setting "eyeball" with guy textmates, pouring pent-up emotions on the cold microphones at a videoke bar with your co-(trying hard) singers and the lot...

And then that tricky feeling of missing someone creeps around the corner again. So much for loving someone too much, haha... That for some time you tend to be irrational, illogical and in our very own language "TANGA".

For a time I kept on believing that someday, somehow he mgiht just realize that if there's one person in this world that he needed, it's me... And now I have come to realize it was the other way around. That it was me who kept on believing he was the one I needed. I'm a hopeless romantic, indeed I am, and that is why I ended up with too many heartaches over only one person.

I know I'm not the only person who gets hurt. In fact, all the people in this world are hurting. It's not the world's obligation to keep us from getting hurt, not because we are nice or kind-hearted. People will hurt us, fool us and leave us behind but we still choose to love, because if we don't, then we might have chosen not to live life at all.

How romantic... hahai. That's what you get when you watch too much drama and read too many romance novels. So you better not to. And for those of you who are into the habit, cut down a little. There's nothing wrong with being mushy and emotional, just don't let it get the better of you. Remember that relationships end because of only two reasons:
1. Wrong timing.
2. Wrong person.

So in conclusion, X-boyfriend is the right person at the worng time andplace, or they might just be the wrong ones after all. I guess Miguel just wasn't the right one all along...